Part 2 Chapter 3

  • "The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it-and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage."

This is one of my weaknesses. I have a difficult time remembering names and have discovered that it is my inattention at the time of getting the persons name that is my stumbling block. I'm working on remembering the person's name after the first meeting by repeating the person's name at least three time in the initial meeting and picturing the person with their name on their shirt.

To illustrate the above point: "The Central Transportation Company, which Andrew Carnegie controlled, was fighting with the company that Pullman owned. Both were struggling to get the sleeping-car business of the Union Pacific Railroad, bucking each other, slashing prices, and destroying all chance of profit. Both Carnegie and Pullman had gone to New York to see the broad of directors of the Union Pacific. Meeting one evening in the St. Nicholas Hotel, Carnegie said: "Good evening Mr. Pullman, aren't we making a couple of fools of ourselves?"

"What do you mean?" Pullman demanded.

Then Carnegie expressed what he had on his mind-a merger of their two interest. He pictured in glowing terms the mutual advantages of working with, instead of against, each other. Pullman listened attentively, but he was not wholly convinced. Finally he ask, "What would you call the new company?" and Carnegie replied promptly: "Why, the Pullman Palace Car Company, of course."

Pullman's face brightened. "Come into my room," he said. "Let's talk it over." That talk made industrial history.

From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with other.

Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.


Part 2 Chapter 2


At a dinner party in New York, one of the guests, a woman who had inherited money, was eager to make a pleasing impression everyone. She had squandered a modest fortune on sables, diamonds and pears,.. But she hadn't done anything whatever about her face. It radiated sourness and selfishness. She didn't realize what everyone knows: namely, that the expression one wears on one's face is farm more important that the clothes one wears on one's back.

Actions speak louder that words, and a smile says, "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you." An insincere doesn't fool anybody. I am talking about a real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile that comes from within, the kind of smile that will bring a good price in the marketplace.

It has been suggested that even when engaged in phone conversations you should smile. I have tried this at work and most of my conservations are pleasant and end on pleasant note even when I'm not telling the person on the other end what they want to hear.

If you don't feel like smiling? Two things. First , force yourself to smile. If you're alone, force yourself to whistle or hum a tune or sing. Act as if you were already happy, and that will dent to make you happy. Here us the way psychologist and philosopher William James put it:
  • "Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not."

Principle 2: Smile


Part 2 Chapter I

Part 2-Six Ways To Make People Like You.


Why read a book to find out how to win friends?Why not study the technique of the greatest winner of friends the would has ever known? Who is he? You may meet him tomorrow coming down the street. When you get within ten feet of him, he will begin to wag his tail. If you stop and pat him, he will almost jump out of his skin to show you how much he likes you. And you know that this show of affection on his part, there are no ulterior motives: he doesn't want tot sell you any real estate, and he doesn't want to marry you.
Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn't have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing by love.
  • "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people that you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you"

Alfred alder, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life should Mean to you. In that book he says: "It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. If is from among such individuals that all human failures spring."

As an introvert, this will be an easy principal to use. By showing an interest in the other person it will take the pressure off me to provide stimulating conservation. By simply asking questions, let the other person do the talking and chances are I'll probably learn something.

Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.


Part I Chapter 3


What is this that can get the whole world with you? It is best explained in this story:
  • "I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally I am fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn't think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn't bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish and said: Wouldn't you like to have that?" Dale Carnegie

So to influence people and get them to do something. Talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

  • "If there is any one secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other person' point of view and see things form that person's angle as well as from your own." Henry Ford

Arouse in the other person an eager want.


Part I Chapter 2

The Big Secret of Dealing With People-Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation

This chapter focuses on the one way to get people to do anything; make them want to do it. It points out the fact that praise is highly motivating and criticism can kill the ambitions of a person.

I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to
praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my
approbation and lavish in my praise.

Charles Schwab

Honest appreciation gets results. Criticism and ridicule fail.
  • I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer not neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.


HTWF&IP-Week 1 Update

Part of my reason for working through the book and posting results on Joe's Goals was to keep myself accountable. I also said I would report on some "In the Field Experiences" (IFE).

  • The most notable IFE was the Lead Engineer walking into my office and making this comment; "I haven't heard anything out of you this week. Nobodys pissed you off?" I told him that this week wasn't any different than any other week and I was trying a different approach to things.

  • There were also three major problems not of my making or in my area of control that I had to handle. These were customer service issues caused by another department. One of the departments at our project is like the awkward classmate that makes the inappropriate comment at the wrong time and is totally unaware of other people's feelings plus they have no idea how to deal effectively with people. That's where my boss and I step in and deal with the situations. I use to get extremely frustrated and this just had a negative effect on how I dealt with the situation. I now realize that the most effective way to handle the situation is in a positive way and deal with the cause of the problem the same way.

This approach actually causes less stress for me and everyone involved is more receptive to working with the customer to solve the problem, even our awkward classmates.